THE CHANGE OF SEASON STIRS WITHIN

couplings 20 | goodbye summer | via: bekuh b. of chatham st. house

Summer is rapidly coming to a close. The evenings feel quieter, shadows are getting longer, and my yearning for sweaters has reappeared. The change of seasons stirs something inside me and I can't help but feel the chapters of my life change with them. 

This is particularly true this year as I embark on a new journey in my career. After four and a half years with Urban Outfitters, Inc. I have decided it is time for me to find myself elsewhere for awhile. Instead of rushing into this "elsewhere" however, I'm giving myself a moment to pause, reflect, and evaluate what's next. For someone who is often described as a workaholic, this is a gigantic leap for me and one I do not take without hesitation. 

It's terrifying to think I'm walking away from a hard fought career in digital marketing and into the unknown. What if I can't find a job when I try to re-enter the workforce, extending my three month sabbatical to six months or a year? What if no one understands this need for a break and holds it against me in interviews? What if...I won't bore you with the endless self-doubt. All of this to say, I'm not naive in the risk I've taken, but I've taken it nonetheless.

The reason? I've been working so hard I've forgotten what it was I was passionate about to begin with. My creativity has shriveled to almost nonexistent and I'm just not fun anymore. I got so busy making a living, I've actually forgotten how to live. It wasn't enough to simply say these things, attempting to make strides towards them, I had to stop completely in my tracks and reroute.

I'm also excited though. I'm looking forward to reconnecting with my center, spending time with Ryan in the mornings, and examining what is most important to me. I'm eternally grateful I have a husband to support me in this endeavor, and savings to alleviate some of the stress of leaving immediately vs. holding out for whatever the next position will be. My one goal in all of this is to find the girl who used to laugh uncontrollably and hold onto her for dear life.

Goodbye summer.  - b.